Saturday, June 13, 2009
|3:13 PM|
sorry for not posting for so long...
i was busy with my camp planning and wednesday to friday was the camp...
my batch was in charge of the camp so we had to do alot of planning...
i think i shall not post what happened each day... it is very boring.. haha
i wondered what happened to me this few days... i was like emoing... i hurted her again... i made her sad again.. i dunno why.. i know she's very disappointed in me.. i'm disappointed in myself too.. i know she wont like me like before.. i'm the one to blame.. i asked myself.. have i did anything to make her feel proud that she liked me..? have i tried to protect her..? the answers were no.. i asked myself to explain...
there were no explanation... i dunno why.. perhaps i was too timid to protect her..? perhaps i was too stupid to do things that can make her feel proud of me..? i dunno..
everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, i'm thinking of her.. i'm thinking about what is she doing now.. i wanted to ask her, but i know that she cant reply.. so what can i do..? i offered to help her pay her bills, yet she declined.. i know the reason.. haiz.. i'm not her anyone.. i'm just a stranger or at most a classmate of hers.. what can i do to help her..? what reason do i have to help her..? i tried my best to make her feel proud but things just dun came as expected.. i really feel like a failure now!
Lost and Never to be Found
+ + +
