Tuesday, October 6, 2009
|9:24 PM|
i'm back emoing again.. i dunno why.. i once asked myself, how good was it to have a helping hand or someone/something to lean on when i'm weak. yesterday was perhaps one of the days i really was weak.. i didn't eat my lunch, at about 6, i walked to my grandparents house despite my gastric pain. i endured it all the way. then when i reached the void deck, i leaned on a pillar and it really felt good, to have something for support when you need one. then i asked myself, where is your support? the answer was, you chased them all away. then i realised, everything that i did caused a consequence that i can never afford to bear. its too much a price to bear. Poa test today was bad.. i lost 7 marks due to something i didn't bother to read. i totally forgot about it. thus, i lost 7 marks. i finished the paper about 20mins before the time ended. so i should be able to just pass. yet this was not what i wanted. haiz.. everything has consequences.. yet i'm not brave enough to face those consequences.. perhaps i'm bound to be a failure? maybe its true. talked to youde just now. i told him to change his negative thinking, he asked me, for what? then i thought to myself, why didn't i ask myself why did i change. well.. its too late for everything. Regrets are the things i have left.. perhaps this is what i deserved.. i'll just have to accept it..
i'll post when i'm emoing again..
Lost and Never to be Found
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